


your eyes tell

by kookiebabies



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Letters, M/M, No Fluff, Psychological Drama, References to Depression, Suicide Notes, Tattoos, Unrequited Love, everyone has seven lives and one soulmate, taehyung and jungkook live their seventh life, taehyung remembers past six lives, you need at least one happy ending to be happy after lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookiebabies/pseuds/kookiebabies
Summary: taehyung knows he lives his last and seventh life as he remembers all past six. being both female and male, worker and aristocrat, prince and maid, he has never had a happy ending with his loved one. they were separated four times by their families, once by world war and once by civil war. however taehyung still believed that this last time their relationship would work out and he would spend the rest of his life and whole eternity with jungkook by his side. unfortunately for him, universe loves playing on him as one, tattoo on jungkook's wrist has two meanings and two, jungkook is dating yugyeom and is planning to propose him soon.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Yugyeom
Kudos: 14





	your eyes tell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my sun](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+sun).



> hi, thank you so much for reading this fanfic! english isn't my first language so i'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. have a nice day or night and i hope you'll enjoy!

i saw you with him yesterday. you were telling each other tearful goodbyes, not knowing when you would meet again. we were scheduled to have a world tour starting in early march and he was going to release a solo mini-album next month. it was one of these nights i was unable to sleep, thousands thoughts running in my mind, memories constantly coming back to me when i tried to close my tired eyes. i got up to get some wine, hidden for sleepless hours like those, and i saw both of you. your messy hair, swollen lips, his nirvana t-shirt from 90s you were wearing, hickeys on your neck. he was softly caressing your blushing cheeks and smiling to you, trying not to cry as he had already missed you. i stood in our shared kitchen with tears in my eyes, holding wine in my right hand and listening how my heart breaks once again. i got used to tears falling down my cheeks, to being heartbroken and lonely, i got used to be unable to love you in the way i would have wanted to. i was never allowed to hold you in my arms longer than couple of minutes, i stole from you a few fast kisses. you had never been mine and i had never been yours. we had been separated before by our families and wars, but that time it was yugyeom, who separated us two. seems like universe loves playing with me. seven lives and never together. 

he kissed you last time on your forehead and smiled to you once again, telling you that he loved you. the door closed and you turned around, but thankfully or not, you didn't spot me in our kitchen. you had puffy eyes from tears, but you were smiling brigthly to yourself when you were heading to your room. you were so happy, happiest you have ever been through those six hundred years we had been meeting and farewelling each other. i could see that in your eyes, in your smile. i had been observing for such a long time that i was able to know how you were feeling through your facial mimics. seven lives and never together, but this time it felt more painful than ever. it was your heart who had chosen yugyeom, not my or your parents, not any war. this time it was impossible for me to even kiss you once because you belonged to yugyeom, because you had been his love since your trainee days. i wanted to hold you in my arms, i wanted to wake up next to you every single morning. once it felt so close for us two to have a happy ending, as we were already married, but vietnamese war separated us two. you don't remember anything like that, do you? but i remember, i remember our all past six lives. i remember our love and our pain, i remember kissing you for the very first and last time each single life. i know you are happy now, but my heart aches whenever i see you in his arms. i wish it was me, i wish i could tell everyone you're mine, i wish we had a happily ever after. 

and you left, heading to your room. warm tears started falling down my cheeks, my hands trembling, bottle of wine almost broken on floor, heart beating so fast i started feeling dizzy. i should have run to you, hug you tightly, kiss your lips and tell you how much i love you. but because i love you, i hadn't done that. because you are most important person in my life, because i have been loving you for six hundred years, i wasn't able to destroy your happiness. we were friends and you were my love but i wasn't yours, even if tattoo on our wrists were matching each other. universe hates me because yugyeom's tattoo matched yours as well. sun and moon, moon and stars. so simillar yet so different. you were my moon and i was your stars but he was your sun.

my heart ached so heavily i was unable to catch a single breath. feels like that time when they told me you died in one of concentration camps during world war two. i miss you even if you are so close to me, even if you sleep in room next to mine. but i have to go on, at least i had yesterday. i took bottle of wine, exhaled a few deep breaths and went to my room with no one waiting for me. my bed felt even colder than usual, it was even quieter than it's every single night i try to fall asleep and not to recall those memories. i sat on my bed, opening old, red wine. it tasted so bittersweet, almost like those tears that hadn't stopped falling even for a second. i wanted you here but you weren't mine anymore. maybe you had never been mine, maybe it was destined for you and yugyeom to find happiness and be forever together. it hurts, it hurts so much not having you by my side. i loved you dearly through all seven lives, i did everything to live with you happily ever after at least once. i protected you, i did my best to make you be the happiest. i have been loving you since my birth as second prince of joseon and i have never stopped loving you. i am so tired of being far from you, i am so exhausted because without you my life lost its colours. since i was born as kim taehyung, i have been looking for person with moon on their wrist, regardless of their gender, race, religion, age or anything else. it's my last, my seventh life and i knew it was my last chance to spend with you our eternity forever. and i found you as youngest member of our group, male two years younger than me, having the same smile and the same eyes i remembered from our past six lives. i knew it was you, it was you i have been loving for six hundred years. 

through these seven years of our career i have been observing you in silence, taking care of you as the older one, helping you when you were in need of it, quietly loving you and waiting patiently for day when you would finally break up with him. days, weeks, months and years would pass but you were still together, loving each other dearly. you were and are happy with him. your eyes tell it well. i know i have to let you go, i know i have to let you be happy with him, but i am unable to. i have been waiting for you six hundred years, i have been waiting for you six lives. i want you, i want you by my side so desperately, i want you to love me, kiss me, take care of me, i want us two to finally have a happy ending. 

i did everything, jungkookie. i did my best to have you here, in my bedroom, drinking this wine with me, exchanging sweet kisses, talking about our day, about our plans for next year. it was my last chance and i believed it would finally work out. we weren't limited by our families, by our class differences, by politics and history. it was us two, grown, korean men in twenty first century, artists well-known and loved all over the world. but i am only your best friend. i am the one you would pour out your heart to, i am the one that was with you when you overworked yourself, when you had nightmares about losing him, when you felt so tired you couldn't get up from your bed. i was nothing more than a friend, close and best one, but still only a friend. it hurts, it hurts so much and i am unable to do anything with it. it's a pain that will never go away, it's a pain that will last even after life as it's our seventh one. we won't reincarnate again, however eternity without you seems something natural, something i should soon get used to. you left me already six times and this one will be the seventh one. i know i did my best, i know i fought till the very end, but it's not enough, it has never been enough for us two to live this beautifully ending, this happily ever after. i wish we could be happy like our friends. i keep asking myself why we can't but i haven't found the answer yet. maybe there's no answer. maybe universe hates me because it's me and no one else. i wish it was me and not yugyeom. i wish we had a happy ending at least once.

my wishes will never come true as you told me a couple of days before that you were planning to propose to him on your eighth anniversairy in march. your eyes were shining so brigthly and they told me everything. they never lied to me, so i knew you were happy with him. if i tried to separate you two, i would lie while saying that i love you, because when you love someone, their happiness is the most important for you. you take care of them more than you care about yourself and you let them go, when you aren't the one for them. through those seven years i learnt that loving someone isn't about yourself and what you think is the best for them. loving someone is about them and their choices, their feelings, their preferences and thousands of other things. if you love someone, you accept them in the exact way they are, with no exceptions. you love someone because of both all and none reasons. you love them for being themselves and no one else, you love them with how their life looks like. if you really love someone, your heart by itself knows when you have to step back. and the time came for me to step back, for me to let you live in the way you want to. if he is the reason why you wake up everyday with brigthest smile of yours i have ever seen, stay with him forever. if he's the one, i have to let you go, even if it hurts, even if it breaks my heart in million pieces. i love you and this is why i have never fought a little bit more. i know you are happy with him. your happiness is mine, but it still hurts. it still makes me drink this awful and bittersweet wine every night, it makes me cry whole night long, it makes me forget about whole world and everyone else but you. 

i have to go, jungkookie. let me go like i let you go. forget about me soon and live happily with him. my story, which started six hundred years ago in joseon, finally ends. it feels both bitter and sweet, both cheerful and sad, to finally sleep well after all these years, to finally close my eyes and not to wake up in this body or any another. till the very end i believed that i would spend my whole eternity with you, but i have to go there by myself now. i wish you were here, holding my hand, telling me that you love me and asking me not to go, but you aren't here. you sleep peacefully in your room, probably dreaming about him. it breaks my heart, to think that he kissed you, that he hold you, that he can tell you how beautiful you are, how much you mean to him, how much you love him, but maybe it was destined for us two to be separated every single time.

thank you for being there. thank you for being my love. thank you for letting me love you quietly. thank you for our past lives, for our all kisses and nights spent together. you taught me what love is and through these years you were source of my happiness, joy and hope. you will be never forgotten in my heart and even if i won't spend my eternity as happily as i thought, let's meet again one day. you should be around a hundred years then, preferably having great-grandchildren. you should forget soon and take care of him and yourself. i will be waiting for you forever, even if i know you aren't mine anymore. it's because i love you and i will always love you. 

i am sorry, jungkookie, for coming back home so early, for leaving you here. it might hurt a little, but i believe you will heal soon. you can do it, jungkookie, so live long and happily. leave this world in a hundred years, not regretting anything by then, surrounded by your loved ones. eat well, sweetie, sleep well, take care of yourself and never overwork yourself, love yourself because you are already perfect in the way you are and be happy, be the happiest person alive. 

i love you, jungkookie, and if you want to talk to me one day, look up. i will be one of the stars upon your head, always ready to listen to you. i will miss you a lot. maybe a little more than a lot.

i love you so so much,

always yours, taehyung.


End file.
